Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
