When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
