I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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