Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize