Porn is love you can see.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
