you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
