Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
