I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
