Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
