I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
They have beer where we have blood.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
