What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
