I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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