Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
