My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize