My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
