So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
