Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
