You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
