so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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