It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
