Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize