Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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