Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
