I think im going to throw up on grandma
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
