video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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