in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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