Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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