well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There's always time for handjobs
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
