you would pick up someone in the library
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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