I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
