Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
