TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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