Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
