she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
