we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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