Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry SaraGoesRawr hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.

Fav 18 1435 3565
share tweet
(972): View more from Texas

Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

Fav 36 7691 1553
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?

Fav 14 3928 1158
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?

Fav 11 3618 1332
share tweet
(714): View more from California

I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?

Fav 7 1491 787
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on

(778): View more from British Columbia

SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW

Fav 1 979 670
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon

Fav 9 2556 803
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here

Fav 2 575 379
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.

Fav 0 55 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT