Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
