hotel room ftw
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
