Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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