the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
