I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
