i already hear my dad disowning me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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