just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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