just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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