i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
