Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
