I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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