Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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