Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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