Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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