I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
