So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
