I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
