I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
