I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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