next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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