You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
