I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
