those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
