So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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