covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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