at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
