Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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