Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
