I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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