He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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