Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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