As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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