New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
