plz talk dirty to me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize