Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
