Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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